Opewation Gwamma Twansplant
Where were we? Ah. Well, 2 weeks ago Gwamma Gaye sold her house. One of the seller's contingencies was that Gwamma Gaye get all her gwamma things out by last Tuesday. So we've kicked into Moving Mode, and for the first time in a long time I've actually been glad that AK and I have done so much moving! We're good at it, almost. Not much time for bloggage, so I'm actually about half-way across the country right now with all of Gwamma Gaye's gwamma things. Behold, The PA Train. . .
Yes, that's the same cantankerous and slow 26' truck that I wrangled across the country almost 3 years ago. This one is not packed so tightly, and it's only towing a small car instead of a small truck which was itself packed with 3 small motorcycles. This trip is a little more hilly, however, having Sierras & Rockys & all sorts of speed bumps in the way to slow me down. And slow it has been, I'm wrapping up my 3rd day on the road and I'm only in Cheyenne, WY. But I get ahead of myself. . .
MONDAY had Cousin Rob, Uncle Bob and I making very fast work of loading the truck. Nary a Mormon showed, I must be falling out of favor with The Mormon Mafia. Then Mom & I wrapped up the last few errands and signed her closing papers before checking in to a Martinez hotel. Not much sleep for either of us, too tired & wigged about the coming travel perhaps.
TUESDAY started early with a delightfully traffic-free trip to the airport, where Gwamma Gaye was postmarked for Pennsylvania and shooed into the 4-mile-long security line. Then a leisurely get-to-know-the-truck-again drive up the Sierras to vist longtime college friends in Sparks. Kristen and I sampled the local faire (Black Rock Pizza = So Good You Know After One Bite It's Not a Chain) and I got to know her staggeringly cute 3 year old Rhys while we caught up. K had Mommy Things to do, so I seized the moment (and the PT Cruiser) and did some exploring in and around Sparks. K's hubby/college friend Rob does both Geocaching and Road Biking so he hooked me up with some interesting places to explore. I found the following fauna. . .
About 30 wild horses hiding in the hills. This is a colt & it's mom, one clearly a little more concerned about me than the other.
The quail is California's state bird, but it would appear they all cashed in on the real estate boom a few years ago and bought large houses in Sparks. This is one of about 3400 that I saw during my short excursion. I hope he's not thinking about dumping. . .
I have no idea why this Llama was in among the sheep. He seems to have no idea why I'm visiting his Sheepdom. But he looked like a speckled, smelly king there surrounded by his sheepish subjects so I had to take his picture.
I spent the rest of the evening with S and her husband J and their very charming and GQ-handsome boys N and M. That was pleasant beyond words. The whole day made me all the more committed to once again getting on a bike and riding all over. These are friends worth staying in face-to-face touch with (also had awesome visit with college friends J & M, J and I having been each others best men, but that was before Monday so. . . . ). And while motorcycles are good for many many things, I'm pretty sure that in my life they are meant for keeping me close with all my great friends who don't live in PA.
WEDNESDAY found me driving the covered wagon. . . er. . . truck to Park City, UT and actually about 20 miles south since every hotel room anywhere around Salt Lake City was booked. Breathtaking scenery just east of SLC, but I was too tired to take it all in. I didn't stop in SLC at all. I'll have to stop at Cheap Charlie's LDS-For-Less on my next trip, they're advertising 4 Quads for the price of 3, with a FREE EFFEMINATE QUILTED BOOK-PURSE!
TODAY was a pleasant, short day of driving. The scenery was stunning, albeit jumping around a lot. It's a jumpy country when viewed from a buckboard (moving truck has no suspension, my spine absorbs a good deal of the road's irregularities. . . . )
QUOTABLE QUOTES:
"Dark Mauve"
-Rhys' response to the question "Who's the bad guy in Star Wars with a red double-light-saber?"
"Daddy, I don't want you to kiss me anymore"
"Ok."
*pause*
"But you can phone kiss me"
-Milo, on the phone with me
"Winnewhuppahunh?"
-Max, after I told him I was passing through Winnemucca, NV. They boys are moving a little yellow moving-van-shaped pin across the country as I go :).
NOTABLE MONDEGREENS (misunderstood song lyrics)
"There's a bathroom on the right. . . ."
Gwamma Gaye herself shared this one with me, from Creedence Clearwater Revival's Bad Moon Rising
"Oats in the man, where 'ya gonna run? Oats in the man, where 'ya gonna run? All along that day. . . "
From The Seekers version of the folk song "Sinner Man". I'm on a folk kick, and listening to this reminds me that for most of my childhood I wondered why the man had oats in him.
NOTABLE LESSONS LEARNED
#1 The Truckstop chains Flying J, Travel America, and Pilot are -- if not owned & operated by Satan himself -- then surely are overseen by senior members on The Satanic Board of Directors. I have frequented these establishments for the past few days because they are the only places I can get cheap diesel from a wide-mouth hose (quickly) AND have room to turn my aircraft carrier around to get back on the street. There I am surrounded by the very cogs in the capitalist machine: men working hard to make their way. These are people who put in hours above & beyond to earn their money and somehow manage to be models of road manners at the same time. They spend a day or two draining the 150 gallons their trucks will hold, only stopping and getting out for a few minutes of humanity in these truckstops. And how are they thanked for their $500.00 gas purchases? With filthy facilities, awful food and criminally high prices. I'm a little bitter about the food because a)it used to be my very favorite kind of food and b)now that I really can't eat it anymore it ticks me off that I have to make ANOTHER stop if I want food with my gas. So forget the style of food they serve, surely it's what the customer wants, but how about fresh? Cleanly prepared? Generous portions? Nope. And I'm sorry, $2.00 is too much for a warm 20 oz pop. Not even the airports do you like that, mostly. Any of the items they sell, if it can be had elsewhere, can be had for substantially less. It stings at the airport, or at the movies, and I'm used to that. I just don't like seeing these guys getting stung because I know how hard it is to make a living their way. Hmm. Although, you can't shop at Target or anywhere else really in your pajama pants, so maybe there is some value there.
#2 Use Penske, not U-Haul. AK did the research 3 years ago and read all the horror stories about people's U-Haul experiences. I heard just enough of them to gladly pay whatever Penske was asking. And on Monday I didn't think twice when Sparky at the Penske Rent Place told us more scary/funny U-Hault stories. But moving is hard. In the middle of all that hard stuff, other hard things happen. The very hardest of hard things, I imagine, would be having a bad rental truck experience. On this trip I've seen 2 U-Haul vehicles broken down on the side of I80, one a large truck (yes, it did have a lower deck than mine. But that didn't keep it running. . . . ) and the other a trailer that appeared to have a broken axle. I also saw a medium sized but newer U-Haul today spewing gobs of deathly black smoke from it's exhaust. This was not your usual flooring-it-in-a-diesel smoke, this was I-can't-see-the-road and somebody-call-the-EPA smoke. Yes, the ride is rough in The PA Train. But I have no doubt that the Train will keep going.
#3 Television is Eeeeee. Vil. Blame it on the reality shows that are ubiquitous now. There is no end to the sappy sensationalism in every corner of TV programming. There must not be enough drama or suspense in fiction anymore, because on every channel on every show they are trying to milk some drama or suspense out of "reality". And it's pathetic. Remember the advertisiments MOCKING the sensationalism? "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! Loud trucks, big noise, dirt in your beer, women in tight shirts!!!! ONLY THIS SUNDAY!!! MMMMMMMMONSTER TRUCKS at The Cow Palace!!!!" I watched a Discovery Channel show about moving big sharks from Taiwan to Atlanta last night, and it made the old monster truck commercials look like C-Span. At every turn we were told how LIFE THREATENING this was and how DANGEROUS that was and how THE SHARKS. . . COULD. . . DIE!!!!! Sheesh. I did see a good show called "How They Make That" or something. They peacefully showed you all the things you wondered about, letting the subject matter be interesting on it's own. Thank you for showing me the big machine that grooves and stains and laminates wood flooring. Thank you for letting me see the grooving thingy cutting the wood really fast, that was interesting. Thank you for not yelling at me about how "IF one of these helpless workers so much as SLIPPED and stuck his WHOLE HEAD in the machine he'd be *pause* paralyzed for the rest of his life. Never again able to run with his chocolate lab Splootchypoo, never able to do ANYTHING that requires a head. . . .
#4 Wyoming in the Summer is beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed the sights today, and right now I'm watching the most breathtaking lightning storm. Thank you for the reservations, AK! I'm on the 5th floor, I can see for miles and it's like having a front row seat at God's own rock concert. It feels like a gift.
Now is time for logging off. I've caught up now, so tomorrow I leave early. The plan is to do an insanely long and miserable day of driving across Nebraska and hopefully some of Iowa. This will leave me time for more visits on Saturday. And, if I can make it longer and miserabler than the drive from Chicago to home, then that last day (driving from Chicago to home) will seem less sucky. Will suck less. Will exude less suckitude. Will be relatively suck free. . . . whatever.
YOU KNOW that can't nobody stop the PA Train. . . .
Yes, that's the same cantankerous and slow 26' truck that I wrangled across the country almost 3 years ago. This one is not packed so tightly, and it's only towing a small car instead of a small truck which was itself packed with 3 small motorcycles. This trip is a little more hilly, however, having Sierras & Rockys & all sorts of speed bumps in the way to slow me down. And slow it has been, I'm wrapping up my 3rd day on the road and I'm only in Cheyenne, WY. But I get ahead of myself. . .
MONDAY had Cousin Rob, Uncle Bob and I making very fast work of loading the truck. Nary a Mormon showed, I must be falling out of favor with The Mormon Mafia. Then Mom & I wrapped up the last few errands and signed her closing papers before checking in to a Martinez hotel. Not much sleep for either of us, too tired & wigged about the coming travel perhaps.
TUESDAY started early with a delightfully traffic-free trip to the airport, where Gwamma Gaye was postmarked for Pennsylvania and shooed into the 4-mile-long security line. Then a leisurely get-to-know-the-truck-again drive up the Sierras to vist longtime college friends in Sparks. Kristen and I sampled the local faire (Black Rock Pizza = So Good You Know After One Bite It's Not a Chain) and I got to know her staggeringly cute 3 year old Rhys while we caught up. K had Mommy Things to do, so I seized the moment (and the PT Cruiser) and did some exploring in and around Sparks. K's hubby/college friend Rob does both Geocaching and Road Biking so he hooked me up with some interesting places to explore. I found the following fauna. . .
About 30 wild horses hiding in the hills. This is a colt & it's mom, one clearly a little more concerned about me than the other.
The quail is California's state bird, but it would appear they all cashed in on the real estate boom a few years ago and bought large houses in Sparks. This is one of about 3400 that I saw during my short excursion. I hope he's not thinking about dumping. . .
I have no idea why this Llama was in among the sheep. He seems to have no idea why I'm visiting his Sheepdom. But he looked like a speckled, smelly king there surrounded by his sheepish subjects so I had to take his picture.
I spent the rest of the evening with S and her husband J and their very charming and GQ-handsome boys N and M. That was pleasant beyond words. The whole day made me all the more committed to once again getting on a bike and riding all over. These are friends worth staying in face-to-face touch with (also had awesome visit with college friends J & M, J and I having been each others best men, but that was before Monday so. . . . ). And while motorcycles are good for many many things, I'm pretty sure that in my life they are meant for keeping me close with all my great friends who don't live in PA.
WEDNESDAY found me driving the covered wagon. . . er. . . truck to Park City, UT and actually about 20 miles south since every hotel room anywhere around Salt Lake City was booked. Breathtaking scenery just east of SLC, but I was too tired to take it all in. I didn't stop in SLC at all. I'll have to stop at Cheap Charlie's LDS-For-Less on my next trip, they're advertising 4 Quads for the price of 3, with a FREE EFFEMINATE QUILTED BOOK-PURSE!
TODAY was a pleasant, short day of driving. The scenery was stunning, albeit jumping around a lot. It's a jumpy country when viewed from a buckboard (moving truck has no suspension, my spine absorbs a good deal of the road's irregularities. . . . )
QUOTABLE QUOTES:
"Dark Mauve"
-Rhys' response to the question "Who's the bad guy in Star Wars with a red double-light-saber?"
"Daddy, I don't want you to kiss me anymore"
"Ok."
*pause*
"But you can phone kiss me"
-Milo, on the phone with me
"Winnewhuppahunh?"
-Max, after I told him I was passing through Winnemucca, NV. They boys are moving a little yellow moving-van-shaped pin across the country as I go :).
NOTABLE MONDEGREENS (misunderstood song lyrics)
"There's a bathroom on the right. . . ."
Gwamma Gaye herself shared this one with me, from Creedence Clearwater Revival's Bad Moon Rising
"Oats in the man, where 'ya gonna run? Oats in the man, where 'ya gonna run? All along that day. . . "
From The Seekers version of the folk song "Sinner Man". I'm on a folk kick, and listening to this reminds me that for most of my childhood I wondered why the man had oats in him.
NOTABLE LESSONS LEARNED
#1 The Truckstop chains Flying J, Travel America, and Pilot are -- if not owned & operated by Satan himself -- then surely are overseen by senior members on The Satanic Board of Directors. I have frequented these establishments for the past few days because they are the only places I can get cheap diesel from a wide-mouth hose (quickly) AND have room to turn my aircraft carrier around to get back on the street. There I am surrounded by the very cogs in the capitalist machine: men working hard to make their way. These are people who put in hours above & beyond to earn their money and somehow manage to be models of road manners at the same time. They spend a day or two draining the 150 gallons their trucks will hold, only stopping and getting out for a few minutes of humanity in these truckstops. And how are they thanked for their $500.00 gas purchases? With filthy facilities, awful food and criminally high prices. I'm a little bitter about the food because a)it used to be my very favorite kind of food and b)now that I really can't eat it anymore it ticks me off that I have to make ANOTHER stop if I want food with my gas. So forget the style of food they serve, surely it's what the customer wants, but how about fresh? Cleanly prepared? Generous portions? Nope. And I'm sorry, $2.00 is too much for a warm 20 oz pop. Not even the airports do you like that, mostly. Any of the items they sell, if it can be had elsewhere, can be had for substantially less. It stings at the airport, or at the movies, and I'm used to that. I just don't like seeing these guys getting stung because I know how hard it is to make a living their way. Hmm. Although, you can't shop at Target or anywhere else really in your pajama pants, so maybe there is some value there.
#2 Use Penske, not U-Haul. AK did the research 3 years ago and read all the horror stories about people's U-Haul experiences. I heard just enough of them to gladly pay whatever Penske was asking. And on Monday I didn't think twice when Sparky at the Penske Rent Place told us more scary/funny U-Hault stories. But moving is hard. In the middle of all that hard stuff, other hard things happen. The very hardest of hard things, I imagine, would be having a bad rental truck experience. On this trip I've seen 2 U-Haul vehicles broken down on the side of I80, one a large truck (yes, it did have a lower deck than mine. But that didn't keep it running. . . . ) and the other a trailer that appeared to have a broken axle. I also saw a medium sized but newer U-Haul today spewing gobs of deathly black smoke from it's exhaust. This was not your usual flooring-it-in-a-diesel smoke, this was I-can't-see-the-road and somebody-call-the-EPA smoke. Yes, the ride is rough in The PA Train. But I have no doubt that the Train will keep going.
#3 Television is Eeeeee. Vil. Blame it on the reality shows that are ubiquitous now. There is no end to the sappy sensationalism in every corner of TV programming. There must not be enough drama or suspense in fiction anymore, because on every channel on every show they are trying to milk some drama or suspense out of "reality". And it's pathetic. Remember the advertisiments MOCKING the sensationalism? "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! Loud trucks, big noise, dirt in your beer, women in tight shirts!!!! ONLY THIS SUNDAY!!! MMMMMMMMONSTER TRUCKS at The Cow Palace!!!!" I watched a Discovery Channel show about moving big sharks from Taiwan to Atlanta last night, and it made the old monster truck commercials look like C-Span. At every turn we were told how LIFE THREATENING this was and how DANGEROUS that was and how THE SHARKS. . . COULD. . . DIE!!!!! Sheesh. I did see a good show called "How They Make That" or something. They peacefully showed you all the things you wondered about, letting the subject matter be interesting on it's own. Thank you for showing me the big machine that grooves and stains and laminates wood flooring. Thank you for letting me see the grooving thingy cutting the wood really fast, that was interesting. Thank you for not yelling at me about how "IF one of these helpless workers so much as SLIPPED and stuck his WHOLE HEAD in the machine he'd be *pause* paralyzed for the rest of his life. Never again able to run with his chocolate lab Splootchypoo, never able to do ANYTHING that requires a head. . . .
#4 Wyoming in the Summer is beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed the sights today, and right now I'm watching the most breathtaking lightning storm. Thank you for the reservations, AK! I'm on the 5th floor, I can see for miles and it's like having a front row seat at God's own rock concert. It feels like a gift.
Now is time for logging off. I've caught up now, so tomorrow I leave early. The plan is to do an insanely long and miserable day of driving across Nebraska and hopefully some of Iowa. This will leave me time for more visits on Saturday. And, if I can make it longer and miserabler than the drive from Chicago to home, then that last day (driving from Chicago to home) will seem less sucky. Will suck less. Will exude less suckitude. Will be relatively suck free. . . . whatever.
YOU KNOW that can't nobody stop the PA Train. . . .
posted by Chris at
9:34 PM
4 Comments:
The Llama is there because Llamas make excellent shepherds. They're as effective as dogs.
See you Saturday sometime, then?
The Science Channel's "How its made" is one of my favorite shows and for pretty much the same reason.
I know the "reality" show thing is much cheaper to produce and as such has become very wide spread but there is a lot to be said for content.
ooohhh large logs on a massive lathe making plywood. That makes me think of...beer.
homer
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