Memorial Day Observances

Memorial Day weekend. This is a time to honor America's fallen soldiers. A time to reflect on war and the Americans who've made the greatest sacrifice for their country. I spent 6 hours Saturday morning driving through rural southern PA and pondering these things as I listened to war-&-veteran-themed essays, interviews & talk on XMPR.

The good people of rural southern PA were expressing their devotion to America's fallen soldiers by hocking garbage in front of their homes. I was moved as I counted nearly every third home had colorful displays of old, broken or near-useless crap on it's lawn. I sensed the southern Pennsylvanians pride and respect for our servicemen everytime I heard "STOP THE CAR, BOB I WANT THAT STATIONARY BIKE!" With every sudden brake light, with every narrowly-avoided rear-end collision, I got just a little choked up.

Not really. But it was funny. I drove by 5,644 yard sales on my way to deliver an Ebay'ed scooter Saturday morning. Did all of those people aquire all that crap (or an equivalent amount of new crap) in just one year? Since last Memorial Day? Or was I looking at 10% virgin crap, on display for it's very first Memorial Day Yard Sale -- and 90% Last Year's Yard Sale Crap Which Didn't Sell?

What's Goin' On? I'll try to do an overall update here, I've gotten some mild e-mail lashings since AK's fallen out of the blogosphere.

Why were you Ebaying your scooter, Chris? As previously reported, AK's work has been scarce and Lux has been trying to take up the slack. So Lux sold 2 of Lux's final 3 motorized cycles on Ebay this weekend. Now Lux has more space in the workshop for clear-coating helmets, and AK has the means to pay more bills. Yes, the Hawaii Five-Oh is gone (it was sold to a Hawaiian who just moved to rural VA of all people). And Tuesday my precious NS50 will also have a new home.

AK is on the verge of getting a permanent part-time job in a law office locally to even out these self-employment peaks and valleys. She's picked up some new Math writing projects, and of course her big May Project should be starting up in June. She's enjoyed all the gardening and knitting. And WE HAVE SO enjoyed having our favorite cat where she belongs, in the center of our universe. And she SO had us financially prepared for her work-stoppage. But the May Job Postponement really did tax the lady and I know she'll be glad to get back to breadwinning and Debt Dragon slaying.

Max is wrapping up his 5th grade year. He has been growing lately. We celebrated his 11th birthday today. He has just completed his Arrow of Light in Cub Scouts, which means he'll now be a Boy Scout. He'll be on the Welch Sharks swim team this summer. He's seriously considering pimping his body out to science (again) for a Penn State study that will net him enough dough for a new Nintendo Wii. He's anxious to find a niche for himself, maybe its something else, I don't know he's old enough to be complex now (not girl complex, y'all have fun out there raising those girls and god bless you for doing it. . . ). I'm mostly unsuccesful at reaching out to the boy, it's hard for a father & son, but I keep trying. The one thing I can do is hug. We can spend all day in completely different places, speaking different languages, stressing about different things, being irritable and clashing with each other. It's as though our love for each other just gives us a greater capacity for intense conflict. But if we can just get physically close for a moment, I get to meet his needs. And what's more challenging/more rewarding than truly meeting the needs of your child?

Milo sings songs and whistles a lot. He's really been getting his Dalai Lama on lately, wearing his heart on his sleeve and brokering peace via his own style of preschool diplomacy. Ben could not only ketchup his own hot dog, buckle his own seatbelt and dress himself, but he's pretty sure he could solve most of the worlds ills if we would all just LET him. Dammit. Both are very excited about swimming, Mom and Max have been giving them lessons so they can swim the length of the pool and be on the Sharks with Max this year. Ben reads a lot. Milo reads so much/so well that Ben looks like he's behind. Milo just seems to enjoy the reading, everything everywhere has writing on it and he gets to decode it all! Just another thing to be insanely happy about and deliciously at-peace with. Life is good for the Dalai Lama. They both enjoy Smart Start Football, because it's all about running and playing, though neither appear to be athletic prodigies. Some of the 5-year-olds in their class have clearly been groomed by their fathers since birth to play football. I recognize it, I know it's wrong (I learned that lesson with Max and motorcycles) but I respect their commitment.

I am having a mid life crisis. I don't want to call it a crisis. And I really don't want you thinking of sports cars and extra-marital affairs. It's a normal, natural change, a step in normal male maturity I think. It shouldn't be a crisis. But our society's insistence on associating mens' selves with their careers makes it a crisis. And that makes it hard to be comfortable in an Ambiguous Career State, as I am. But I'm trying, thinking and planning on a daily basis. Growing my business even though I'm convinced it's not a large part of my financial future. Trying to find books about it (Good luck, by the way, finding a CURRENT/RECENT book about midlife changes in men, written by a man. Secular would be great, since I don't have the well of strength Faith provides a man right now. Any recommendations are appreciated). I'm frustrated because I'm a mentor-style learner. I want to turn to my elders, who have seen this a hundred times and know it's proper place in the big picture, for counsel. But our society doesn't work like that and even if there are men like me out there they either are in the throes of it as I am or don't have the vocabulary to share their lessons with me. Because, you know, men just don't talk to men about these kinds of things :/.

Today was a special treat, we had a family get-together to celebrate Max's 11th and Cuz O's 1st birthdays. Max had a particularly mean Benadryl early in the day (He has my debilitating allergies. Sharing is caring!) and slept through most of his own party, but did get up in time for singing and of course. . . .


. . . .cake.

That's what's goin on, or all I can think of right now. I'm in the midst of my own antihistamine haze, and sleep in sounding increasingly groovy, man. Totally.