"I haffa work on my yaptop"
That's what Max would say, with a very serious look, when he was Ben/Milo's age and had a toy laptop Leapfrog V-Tech game thing toy. He had an awful time with his "L"s and his "R"s, which was fine with us because it was downright adorable.
(as we fuss over which cartoon channel to watch) "Daddy, I don't YIKE Johnny Bwavo!"
Tonight we had the twins' Family Birthday, with gifts from us and relatives. Ben and Milo got their own V-Frog Game Top Lap Toy things (I don't think the graphics or software are any better than the one Max had :( but at least they were cheaper). As they opened gifts from Grammas, Grampas, Aunts & Uncles we tried so hard to coach them on saying thank you after opening gifts. This is because we're having The Bowling Ally Birthday Party From Beyond Reason on Saturday and we suspect they will be up to their eyeballs in gifts from the other kids. It did not go well, since the people they were thanking were not present and that added another layer of mystery to what we were communicating. Also, you know how a kid just glazes over where there is a brand new, brightly-colored, battery-operated, no-volume-control, over-packaged doesn't-matter-what sitting in their lap. We will be talking them down from Planet Gotmorestuff every 4 minutes so they can say "Thank you (name of friend)!"
Which brings me to something I've been thinking about lately: manners. I'm considering a commitment to "dying on that hill". AK always uses that expression. If there's a fight she's decided isn't worth fighting she says "I'm not going to die on that hill", meaning she'll concede that hill to the enemy and give her all on a more important subject. Well, I just may conclude that manners/respect/common courtesy or whatever you want to call it -- is worth taking a stand on in my ongoing battle with parenthood. I never paid much attention, but lately I'm thinking that a boy can be dim, ugly, clumsy, socially backward or all 4 -- and that boy will be alright if he's got a good foundation of manners & common courtesy. This means that I can screw up parenting my boys in all the ways I imagine I will (daily, on a near-hourly basis) but if I can win this one battle and imbue them with a fundamental respect for other human beings of all races & creeds, then I will achieve a modicum of real parenting success.
NO idea what the plan of attack is. It will take considerable planning and Napolean-like war strategies. Is it even a winnable war? Are there genuinely courteous & caring boys, teens & young men out there? Feedback is welcome here. . . .
(as we fuss over which cartoon channel to watch) "Daddy, I don't YIKE Johnny Bwavo!"
Tonight we had the twins' Family Birthday, with gifts from us and relatives. Ben and Milo got their own V-Frog Game Top Lap Toy things (I don't think the graphics or software are any better than the one Max had :( but at least they were cheaper). As they opened gifts from Grammas, Grampas, Aunts & Uncles we tried so hard to coach them on saying thank you after opening gifts. This is because we're having The Bowling Ally Birthday Party From Beyond Reason on Saturday and we suspect they will be up to their eyeballs in gifts from the other kids. It did not go well, since the people they were thanking were not present and that added another layer of mystery to what we were communicating. Also, you know how a kid just glazes over where there is a brand new, brightly-colored, battery-operated, no-volume-control, over-packaged doesn't-matter-what sitting in their lap. We will be talking them down from Planet Gotmorestuff every 4 minutes so they can say "Thank you (name of friend)!"
Which brings me to something I've been thinking about lately: manners. I'm considering a commitment to "dying on that hill". AK always uses that expression. If there's a fight she's decided isn't worth fighting she says "I'm not going to die on that hill", meaning she'll concede that hill to the enemy and give her all on a more important subject. Well, I just may conclude that manners/respect/common courtesy or whatever you want to call it -- is worth taking a stand on in my ongoing battle with parenthood. I never paid much attention, but lately I'm thinking that a boy can be dim, ugly, clumsy, socially backward or all 4 -- and that boy will be alright if he's got a good foundation of manners & common courtesy. This means that I can screw up parenting my boys in all the ways I imagine I will (daily, on a near-hourly basis) but if I can win this one battle and imbue them with a fundamental respect for other human beings of all races & creeds, then I will achieve a modicum of real parenting success.
NO idea what the plan of attack is. It will take considerable planning and Napolean-like war strategies. Is it even a winnable war? Are there genuinely courteous & caring boys, teens & young men out there? Feedback is welcome here. . . .
posted by Chris at
6:54 PM
1 Comments:
I don't know about boys, but I die on that hill with Sabine and with the others as it presents itself! I think that it's of the utmost importance for children to learn and be expected to be polite and have manners. It's a daily battle that I've been fighting for a long time (long being less than 3 years since that's how long Sabine's been talking.) It's important to me that she is respectful of other in public and private. She doesn't always do it at home, but more times than not when we are in public she uses pleases and thank yous.
My plan of attack is gentle reminders of politeness. "What do you say?", "How do you ask?", "Did you say thank thank you?" If she hasn't I ask he to do so. You also have to model that behavior as well. I'm not always so good at that. I forget just like she does. Especially at home.
Respect for me as the parent is one that I'm battling. She asks a lot whys, which in and of itself is not bad. However, it has gotten to a point of convincing. I have to convince her that she should do something, not just because I said so. So we are working on the, "Yes, mama." I always felt you should explain and explainations are not bad. But when she asks why she should wash her hands every time I ask her there is a problem. I need to know that she will stop runninh into the street when I tell her and not keep going until I answer her why. It seems to have fostered some distrust in her but answering her whys all the time. Our therapist siad to give her less desicions and stop treating her like a little adult. She is 4 and should be expected to act that way. And yes it was bad enough we went to see a therapist. She doesn't l;ook to be a handful, but my oh my, when she gets going. WATCH OUT!
That's the long version, and I could probably go on and on. If you want email me.
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